Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Why men are happier

My wonderful sister sent this to Kristen, who shared it with me. I think there's a lot of truth to it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.



Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Caruth Haven Ln,Dallas,United States

Monday, August 2, 2010

When to keep your mouth closed

I spent an enjoyable evening with my good friend Linda Timmerman who related a nice story from her recent vacation to Las Vegas.

As many of you know, Linda's husband David is a world class choir director who recently retired to his mansion on the lake and a tool shed that would rival The Home Depot.

But what you probably don't know was that David was Terry Fator's vocal coach many years ago when Terry was in high school. This was way before he won America's Got Talent and rocketed to stardom.

Fator, now the star Las Vegas act attracting thousands of people and millions of dollars to the Mirage Casino, has signed at least a $100 million contract for another five years of ventriloquism impersonations with his classy puppets.

David and Linda were guests of Fator at the Mirage and were spotted by the puppet paparazzi as they left the glitzy casino steakhouse. When David was asked how it felt to be the vocal coach of the now millionaire puppet star, David in his quite demeanor just said, "It wasn't me...I always told him to sing with his mouth open!"

I guess Fator put his money where his mouth was.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Dallas, Texas